Raising a complex child is, well, complex. We get it.
You are Not alone.
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What do you get?
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I’m not sure if my child is complex. Maybe it’s just me?If you are a frum mommy with a behaviorally challenging child, you are in the right place. Here’s the deal: your child is stressed out. This stresses you out and you’ve had reactions you're not proud of. It’s ok. This is not your fault. I’m here to help you figure out a better way to parent your complex child.
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What if my spouse and I are not on the same page?Welcome to the club! Most spouses do not start on the same page when it comes to complex kids. One usually stays stuck in the belief that more rewards, more consequences, and more consistency will create behavior change. The other one (usually the one who spends more time with the challenging child) thinks “there has to be another way”. The good news is, you don’t have to get your spouse on the same page right now. Find what works for you and your child; if it really works, your spouse will see it and then your job is to give it time and space.
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What if my situation is slightly different from other parents?If you are a frum mommy with a behaviorally challenging child, you are in the right place. Everyone’s situation is slightly different; you may feel your lifestyle is more or less religious, you may be single-parenting, you may be differently-wired yourself. Don’t let your differences keep you from getting the support you need and deserve.
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I am interested in joining the community, but I’m a super private person.We take confidentiality very seriously. We do not share our children’s pictures or even their first names, all video replays are hosted on a secure server visible only to group members and what is said in the group stays in the group. You can take as long as you need to warm up and participate. That said, we do turn our zoom videos on and use our real names to create a sense of community and trust.
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What if my child has a diagnosis?Yup, these resources are for you.
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What if my child doesn’t have a diagnosis?Yup, these courses and this community are for you too.
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I’m a professional (therapist, educator, etc) or grandparent. Are your courses appropriate for me?Yes. I address parents but the underlying framework and theory are appropriate for professionals and grandparents as well.
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What age children is this for? Is it suitable for adolescents?The courses and community focus primarily on children 2-12. If you are parenting an adolescent, you will find the classes very helpful. The process of identifying underlying stressors and supporting your child are even more important for adolescents. At present, most of the mothers in the group have children under age 12.
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Are you taking on new clients?I’d love to help you! At the moment I am only available for short-term consultations and am not taking on long-term clients.
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Should I take a class first or start with a consult?The classes offer a lot more “bang for your buck,” so I generally recommend starting with a class. If you feel you are too overwhelmed to sit through a class, a consult might be right for you, helping you get to a place where you have the clarity and direction to move forward.
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How do I choose which class to take?Hidden Differences is a “crash course.’’ You can binge watch 2 hours worth of content (six 20-min video lectures). This course offers a ‘lay of the land’ on parenting a complex child. Deep Dive into Parenting Complex Kids is a good fit if you’re ready to dive into finding the root of your child’s stress and your stress; it will also help the process of finding a proactive plan that really works for everyone in the family.
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What is the community? Is it a support group?Good question! The community offers a group coaching model. How is that different from a support group? While there is a lot of support in the community, we are also action focused and accountability oriented. We want to keep you on track and moving forward. We’ll help you identify problems and find solutions with the help of other mommies who really get it. The community meets three out of four Mondays a month; it includes lectures, guest speakers and a 24/6 online forum to brainstorm, support and collaborate with other mothers in the group.
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How often does the group open?The group opens twice a year (early winter and early summer).
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How do I join the community?In order to join the group you need to have taken Hidden Differences or Deep Dive into Parenting Complex kids. Why? This ensures that everyone in the group is working with the same core framework.
Who can join?
To join, you must have completed Hidden Differences, The Connection Course or DEEP Dive Into Parenting Complex Kids. This requirement ensures that all of the moms in the group are on the same page using a strengths-based, problem-solving approach to raising complex kids.
This is a group of wonderful, interesting, extremely dedicated moms from around the globe all facing the challenges of raising kids who are challenging in the context of Jewish values and community.
Hi, I’m Ilyssa
I‘m a Psychologist and Parent Educator. But my greatest achievement and most important credential is my five unique and wonderful kids.
I believe behind every child’s greatest struggle is his greatest strength. And behind every parent’s greatest struggle is her greatest strength. I’m passionate about helping parents uncover those strengths and connect to their most difficult children.
After training as a clinical psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara and studying developmental psychology at Stanford University I thought I was super prepared to be a mommy. Little did I know….
My personal journey as the parent of a child with multiple hidden differences has given me deep compassion for parents raising complex kids. I know what it feels like to raise a child that popular parenting books are just not written for.